Going through a divorce
Going through a divorce is never easy to cope with, but there are things you can do to help yourself in this difficult time and move on to become a stronger person. Divorce is painful because it represents the loss of shared commitments and dreams, as well as the relationship itself. It leads to feelings of stress, disappointment and even grief, and disrupts everything from your routine, to responsibilities, home, family relationships and questioning your own identity. Uncertainty about the future can make going through a divorce difficult to recover from, but it is crucial to remember that healing takes time and you will be able to move on and be happy.
In the meantime, here are some ways to help you cope with going through a divorce:
#1 Going through a divorce, it is important to let yourself grieve the relationship
When a marriage ends, you experience a loss of companionship, support (financial, emotional, social) and grief. It’s okay to have mixed feelings of confusion, exhaustion, sadness, anger, anxiety. Uncertainty about the future can be unsettling so give yourself a break and time to heal. Don’t expect too much from yourself.
Conflicting and varying emotions are normal when going through a divorce. Dealing with these emotions instead of suppressing them may be painful, but it will shorten the grieving process. Don’t be afraid to let others know how you are feeling. Sharing your emotions may sound cliché, but talking about them will help you to process them.
Don’t over-analyse things. Dwelling on situations and placing blame will only stop you from moving forward. Create new dreams and ambitions, and get excited about them, and you will begin to see your divorce as a new opportunity. Although it is normal to experience intense grief when going through a divorce, it is important to recognise that if you are struggling to move forward, you may be experiencing depression, in which case you should not feel ashamed to get help.
#2 Surround yourself with others when going through a divorce
During your divorce, surround yourself with friends and family you can trust to support you. Support groups are a fantastic opportunity to meet people in the same situation as you who understand how you are feeling. Isolating yourself will make things harder, so spending time with people who value you and are positive will encourage and motivate you.
Take the chance to create new friendships, particularly if you have lost relationships when going through a divorce. Joining a special-interest group, club or volunteering will help you to make an effort to meet new people, and give you a fresh start as an individual.
#3 When going through a divorce, prioritise looking after yourself
The emotional and physical strain of going through a divorce can leave you vulnerable so it’s important to take care of yourself. It’s important to get plenty of rest, and if possible, reduce your workload and other stress. Put aside time every day to do activities that you enjoy. Pay attention to what you need and put yourself first without feeling guilty. Create a regular routine to stick to. It will give you structure in your life, and help you get back into a mental position where you are able to make decision rationally.
Don’t use drugs or alcohol to cope. Eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly and keeping your body healthy will make you feel better and aid your concentration, focus and ability to function throughout the day and improve your lifestyle long-term.
When going through a divorce, consider it as a fresh start and an opportunity to learn and grow. Remember that the pain will subside as you move on. Look at the big picture and see how you can improve from mistakes you have made. Overall, be honest with yourself. Objectively examine your past choices and behaviour to make better choices. Be realistic and give yourself time to heal instead of beating yourself up and dwelling on the past.
If you’re going through a divorce and would like the help of experienced divorce lawyers based in London, call Pinder Reaux on 020 8252 7373 for a free consultation.